J came by last night and picked up all the stuff he'd been storing at my place for the last 5-7 years or so. He did so because I told him I needed him to get that stuff before I leave for my trip so I could use the space to store some other stuff which had piled up in my living area of my apartment. I figured leaving that stuff out for J for when she sublets my place would be rude. My place is messy enough without all that clutter.
With all that stuff gone I finally broke down all the boxes I had in my living room and put them in my storage closet (which now actually has some room in it). Slowly but surely my place is starting to come together a bit. I hope to have a bunch of my possessions pared down by the time J moves in, and she said she loves to clean, so hopefully my place will look pretty good by the time I get back. Then I'll really begin getting rid of shit and hopefully reduce the amount of items I own to the absolute bare minimum. I should have been doing that the last 2-3 months, but I'm fucking lazy. The way to do it is in small portions, rather than thinking about it as all this shit I need to do. It's easier to just say "today I'm going to address this small corner."
Yesterday K emailed me and it was the first contact I'd had from her in about two months or so. A little backstory with K: we met online about 3 years ago and went out on one date, but even though it went mostly OK she said she didn't want to go out again, and that was that. Then last summer I received an email from her which was spam, so I sent her a brief email saying just that it looked like someone had hacked her email account and was spamming from it. She emailed back and asked how I was, and one thing led to another and we began emailing back and forth for a while, then talking on the phone again, and then finally we met up and went on another date last fall. Things went better on the second date, so there was a third, then a fourth, fifth, I dunno.
K is OK, she's pretty funny, but she's a tad racist and has a fairly quirky personality and sense of humor that probably ends up keeping almost everyone at arm's length from her. I'm forgiving of her because her body is a 10 (or 9 at least), and very badly want to hook up with her. However, on our dates the most that ever happened was just some rather brief making out, with her typically stopping things "before she got too worked up." That shit is fine for a couple dates, but sooner or later I like to see a little progress or I begin to lose interest, and that's what began to happen in this case. As a result I basically told her I was interested in more than us just being friends who kiss goodnight. She told me that she knew I didn't want anything serious (this is true), and that if she did anything more with me she'd probably get attached and then end up heartbroken when I didn't want to get serious. I didn't know if this was a brush off or if she was for real, but since she'd been up front when she'd rejected me years earlier, I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Since I believed her, I kinda left things in her court, saying it wouldn't be honest of me to just pursue a friendship with her when I was more interested in getting in her pants. I could tell this knocked her off her stance a bit, as she still wanted to keep talking to me, cause she does like me, but I basically drastically reduced the length of my emails to very short responses, and things of that nature. I wanted to establish that I'm not interested in just being friends, and if that means we don't talk, then so be it, but she could contact me when she changed her mind.
So we fell out of talking after that until about two months passed, when she contacted me again with a long email. Naturally I wasn't going to just fall right back in, so I sent her a short email saying "let's catch up on the phone" so she called and we talked. She asked how come I hadn't talked to her in a while, so rather than beat around the bush I asked her if things had changed with her. She said she still had the same concerns, and I could tell that she didn't really want to launch right back into this conversation, but regardless I was letting her know this is how things stand and will continue to stand. She said we should get together and hang out and see what happened, but both of us got flaky and it didn't happen. So then another two months passed and she emailed me yesterday.
This time her email was short saying she didn't want to write out something long unless she knew I was still in town to write her back, so I said I was around, but why email back and forth and that we should just talk on the phone instead. So last night she called and we talked for a bit. I was once again quite forward that I'm very attracted to her and that I want to hook up with her. I can tell she is wary of going down that path, but I think she's a bit tempted as well. She said "don't rush things", to which I said "what rush things, we went on our first date over three years ago." I was humorous about it though, I don't want to paint myself as being some super pushy, lecherous guy or something. I just really do think it would be disingenuous of me to just try to be her friend when really the only reason I'd do that would be because I'd hope she'd let me get in her pants some day. I'm not looking for the friend zone, after all. Bad as it might be to admit this, I'd actually be OK with that if we had hooked up, but since we haven't, forget it.
Anyway, I asked her if she wanted to get together before I leave next week and she said yes, though she said no sex or anything yet, but we'd see what happens when I get back. It may be harsh or blunt but I think I'm playing this just right. I guess we'll see.
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